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MISSED CONNECTIONS: Gollum, Reward Money and Cat Food – OH MY! [Weirdest Week Ever]

WEIRDEST WEEK EVER for star-crossed lovers…from Craig’s List…

GEORGE:  Is that you Gollum – Woman (and Man ) for Man – Cut And Shoot, 37

I’m sorry!  I think I may have offended you. When I approached you at the Tractor Supply store in Conroe and said “my fiance and I have been looking for someone like you – are you into role playing” – I didn’t realize how it might sound.  And you took off before I could explain that my fiance’ and I just thought you’d be perfect for what we have in mind. We’ve been looking for a little person like yourself to play Gollum and wrestle with my future husband as Frodo during our LOTR themed wedding – I’m serious and hope you see this – will you add the “precious” to our wedding?


MO:  DUDES…yall gotta say what you mean. Man For Woman, 33

This guy said….I was pickin up cigarettes at the Texaco in Katy off i10 around 2am.  You and your friend was in a beat up ’97 Dodge truck.  Yall run out of gas and I couldn’t see your sick, blonde friend too clearly, but you…the brunette.  You was beautiful. Shoulder length hair, black rimmed glasses and a gorgeous smile.

I bought yall gas and you asked how you could repay me.  I said, “PAY IT FORWARD”. But I meant to say, “MAY I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?”.  I’ve been kickin myself ever since.   

This girl lives somewhere off Fry Road.  I am willing to pay a reward to anyone who can find me this girl!!

Excuse me?  Now we’re getting rewards? I’m diggin this!  ❤ 


COWBOY DAVE:  Seen u eating cat food – Man For “Woman”, 29

First I’d like to say that I’m not judging… I too have had an unfortunate incident involving cat treats… On Saturday outside the 290/Hollister Walmart… I saw you eating catfood out of can. You were using a fork and humming a nice tune, honestly you looked happy and I couldn’t have been more intrigued and turned on.

Looks like you gots some manners. I like that in a cat… errr… girlfriend! I’ve been looking to adopt a pretty purry fluff ball and I think I’ve found my puuuuuuur-fect snuggle pet! I’ll be back today at noon and I’ll buy you all the fancy feast you want as long as we can get FRISKIES too!!


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